'They've now turned on me': Staff throw party in the breakroom and exclude new hire, coworkers blame her after boss finds employee eating alone and bans all office events

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Isabella Penn
Mar 12, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

You always have high hopes as a new hire. Finding a job isn't exactly a walk in the park. The endless applications, the agonizing cover letters, and the nerve-wracking interviews are enough to make anyone crazy. Finally accepting an offer feels like you're on top of the world. But no matter how much research you do, nothing truly prepares you for what your coworkers will be like.

Maybe you luck out and land in an office where everyone gets their work done, minds their business, and doesn't micromanage or steal credit. But that's a unicorn situation. More often than not, you end up finding yourself in the middle of office politics, dodging passive-aggressive emails, or dealing with cliques that make you feel like you're right back in high school, like what happened to this new hire. She learned the hard way that some workplaces are more about social dynamics than actual work. When her coworkers excluded her from a breakroom party, things got awkward. But not as awkward as when the big boss found out. 

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  • "AITAH for telling my boss that I wasn't invited to the party?"

    I (26F) just started at a new job. I quickly realized that one of my colleagues, "Marie" is engaged and is getting married within the next 2 months. It seemed like the whole office was attending the wedding. I absolutely did not expect an invite. She just met me,
    via Far_Pay8487
  • weddings are planned in advance, venues booked, etc. My friend actually just got married so I saw first hand how it all worked. I could tell Marie wondered if I was expecting an invitation and was hesitant to bring up the wedding around me, but I just never made it a big
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  • deal. I don't feel left out in the slightest. Then, I got CC'd on an e-mail from someone that the office, Joan, throwing Marie a shower during our lunch hour in the breakroom in a couple of weeks.
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  • Joan was sending out a collection so we could give a group gift (cash) to Marie. They also suggested we make it a potluck. Joan included her Venmo and also asked we e-mail back with what we planned on bringing. Even if I'm not going to
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  • the wedding, I still believe everyone deserves to be celebrated and Venmo'd the $20, as well as sent a reply saying I'd bring lasagna. A little later, I saw the $20 had been returned to my Venmo and Joan approached my desk. She
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  • said I didn't need to contribute. I said even if I'm not attending the wedding, I'd still like to give Marie a little something. Joan looked a little awkward and hemmed and hawed but then eventually said "You're not invited to the shower". I was
    via Far_Pay8487
  • confused. I said "I can't go in the company breakroom on lunch hour?" She said yes. I asked where am I supposed to go? | don't drive (I take public transit to/from work), we don't really work near anywhere I could go to quickly for our lunch hour. She said I could stay at my desk. I
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  • pointed out this was a little exclusionary. Joan said Marie didn't want me to assume I was invited to the wedding. I said I don't at all. I completely understand I haven't worked here long and we're not close enough. I'm not hurt by that. She
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  • said that's great, but I still can't come. I asked if I had done anything to offend Marie and she said no. She just doesn't want me "getting my hopes up". I finally let it go and just said fine, have a good party. The day of the shower, I sat at my desk during the party while everyone else
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  • A S D F Z X C V B N M 36 * In control option command command option
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  • went, eating my lunch alone. One kind person snuck me a piece of cake. Halfway through the party, the "big boss" came in. She usually doesn't work on Fridays, so it was a surprise to see her. She saw me sitting at my desk and
    via Far_Pay8487
  • asked why I wasn't at the party. I told her I hadn't been invited. She was clearly perturbed by this. Later on, she sent an e-mail out banning parties of any kind during work hours. A few people, Joan and Marie included, realize I'm the one who told. They've now turned on me.
    via Far_Pay8487
  • Some friends say I'm in the wrong here and that I should've lied to the big boss and said I was busy with work to finish or something, so as not to ruin it for everyone else. AITA?
    via Far_Pay8487

  • Her friends that said she's in the wrong are clearly in the wrong. You shouldn't lie to the big boss, especially when you're new. These coworkers had it coming. How can you think telling one person they have to sit at their desk while everyone else parties in the breakroom is the right move here?

  • Diligent-Ratio-4654 NTA - they sound like high school mean girls. You were so kind to offer money and lasagna. Sorry that happened you to!
    via Diligent-Ratio-4654
  • One-Revolution-9670 Not how that works. A work shower is for everyone, not just people invited to the wedding. Joan is clueless about office etiquette.
    via One-Revolution-9670
  • Armadillo_of_doom NTA They used company resources and excluded someone in the company. That's against HR policy I'm sure. They didn't "not" invite you, they deliberately *blocked* you from going and TOLD you to stay at your desk.
    via Armadillo_of_doom
  • They deserved what they got. Time to grey rock them. "Sorry, boss asked me a direct question and I assumed you were going to tell her the truth so I wasn't going to lie and possibly get in trouble." Marie and Joan are mean girls. Period. Document any retaliation asap.
    via Armadillo_of_doom

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consequences staff boss workplace-stories employee toxic-workplace drama revenge new hire work coworkers breakroom petty Office
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